You never know what lies around the next turn!
...starts to get old...
This is what it's like to live on a roller coaster.
Upon arrival to our new home in Korea, I felt such excitement and anticipation.
Woo hoo! A whole new region of the world to explore!!
I also felt an immense void of all the things we loved and left behind in Egypt. I still feel that void. After talking to some other expats, I found that I may feel this void for years. I feel blessed to have loved our time in Egypt so much that it still lives in me. But it breeds such sadness, and this gal is not used to feeling sadness all the time.
We have evidence of our Cairo life all over our home. Photos of us on camels stretched over canvas. Wooden camels, plaster scarabs, copper lamps, hieroglyphics, arabic scripting, and more! Evidence of many trips to the Khan el Khalili, for sure! Most often these little glimpses make me so happy. They fill my heart with memories of hilarious anecdotes, awesome haggling, and beautiful friendships. But within those memories is a longing for old times that I have never felt before.
So much of the past three months has been coping. Just making it through the day, getting the kids to school, making dinner, walking the dog. I hear from my fellow world travelers that this will likely last another three months. And then I can start living again. Right now, I feel like someone has paused me. I don't even have the insatiable craving to travel right now. Can you imagine? And here we are just a hop away from all the major cities in Asia! What is wrong with me?
I know. I'm disappointed too. All these years, I thought I was so fortunate to evade those feelings of sadness or being bummed out that so many of my fellow humans experience. I've always been content to be happy and healthy. To have a roof over my head. To be able to order what I need from Amazon, even though I can't go to ... Target. *sob*
TJ Maxx! *sob*
Chik Fil A *ugly cry*
(Just kidding. I don't actually ugly cry for Chik Fil A, though I admit, if I ever get to go to Target, TJ Maxx, and Chik Fil A in the same day, I just might.)
This is what happens when you go years on end living outside your comfort zone. Honestly, it is exhausting. I'm so used to not being able to read signs or communicate with people, I rarely even attempt to read or talk. Haha! Living on a military base in Korea, it's even stranger because I am in an odd purgatory. It's just enough to keep me on my toes.
So far, the best part of this new journey is SuperHub. We have really gotten so close. For the first time, I'm not shielding him from my feelings or trying to be "strong for him". I am actually talking about how I feel. (Poor hub, ha!) We are communicating daily instead of just living around each other, which happens so easily as decades of marriage pass. We are going on dates every week. Spending time together. Laughing together, commiserating, and trudging though the harder days. The kids are at such awesome ages, they are truly enjoyable to be around, mostly self-sufficient, and hilarious.
There are some solidly good things about this time. I'm learning to be myself in new environments. I'm an expert at saying no when I don't want to do something. :) I'm absolutely out of my comfort zone, for the third year in a row. I have a wonderful friend who explores with me, makes me laugh, loves Brooklyn 99, and makes me try foods I don't want. ;) (Who knew cold radish soup was delicious? Now, I do!)
I'm soaring over the big drop on this roller coaster. I'm doing it!
That's the thing about roller coasters. You hop on and you are at its mercy until the ride is over. And even though it is nauseating and unsettling at times, I wouldn't trade it for anything.