Turns out, when your heart and soul are happy, you aren't as hard on your physical self.
The wrinkles you dreaded finding become beloved laugh lines.
The gray hairs you find in your eyebrows, even though you are but 36, become no big deal.
You even stop staring loathingly at your jeans size as you put your pants on in the morning.
I've always heard you don't know what you have until it's gone. It's true! I never realized how middle-of-the-road happy I was until I became truly happy. Now I look back and see this grayscale sadness that was lurking behind my eyes in photos. Even at times when I remember feeling happy, there was no sparkle.
I lost myself in my dreadful self-esteem.
I've always had a crappy self-esteem. I have no clue why.
You probably don't know me in person but I'm quick-witted, silly, and I have a head absolutely FILLED with stupid inane trivia.
I talk during movies.
I over-plan my life.
I under-plan my dinners. :)
I nurture everyone around me, even when I'm sinking.
I have a giant heart that is easily injured. I love big. I hurt big. I used to think that my giant heart was a handicap, but now as I watch that same heart growing within my daughter, I see it as a great strength. I'm proud of her giant heart.
I forgive and forgive until I don't have it in me to do it anymore. At that point, you are cut off and have no place in my heart or life.
My brain goes nonstop from the moment I awaken until I collapse at the end of the day. In my free time I solve the world's problems, plan future vacations, decide where my kids will go to college, and lead society to world peace. My brain never stops churning through minutia.
I write notes to myself in dry-erase marker on the bathroom sink. Sometimes at 2am.
I love moving. I love travel. But when I am not moving I feel trapped. When I am not traveling, I feel stagnant. When a move is imminent and I don't have it planned out, I feel like a turtle on its back.
I read a ton. Sometimes a book a day. I love to read. It makes me think clearer, speak better, and it helps to quiet my mind when nothing else does.
These little exercises in self-awareness have been hugely helpful to me. The more I learn about myself, the more I accept. The more I grow and can help my mirror-image daughter love herself. Yes, they are silly and I think too much. But it has been great for me.
They say that if you look at yourself naked in the mirror, you stop seeing your flaws and start to see you. I've been spending a lot of time looking at my uncovered soul. I'm learning how to be satisfied being me. It's really amazing!
I hope you feel inspired to grab your weirdest attributes and own them. Surround yourself with people who laugh at your dumb jokes and truly enjoy you. Enjoy yourself. It's not as hard as you think!